《生活大爆炸》同款真心话大冒险：36个问题让你快速了解TA

《生活大爆炸》同款真心话大冒险：36个问题让你快速了解TA

引用

verywellmind

等

8

来源

1.

https://www.verywellmind.com/unpacking-the-36-questions-that-lead-to-love-8559179

2.

https://zhidao.baidu.com/question/188681831007258284.html

3.

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%82%81%E7%88%BE%E6%96%AF-%E5%B8%83%E9%87%8C%E6%A0%BC%E6%96%AF%E6%80%A7%E6%A0%BC%E5%88%86%E9%A1%9E%E6%B3%95

4.

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%A4%A9%E5%91%BD%E7%9C%9F%E5%A5%B3

5.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a32618/36-questions-fall-in-love/

6.

https://www.lunchactually.com/sg/blog/36-questions-to-make-you-fall-in-love-according-to-psychologist-arthur-aron/

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https://m.jy135.com/yule/53221.html

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https://m.smtxjs.com/html/1669666690320830.html

在《生活大爆炸》第八季第16集中，Penny和Sheldon玩了一个火遍网络的心理学实验——通过互相提问和回答36个问题，在短时间内提升亲密感。这个实验源自心理学家Arthur Aron及其同事在1997年的研究，旨在探讨如何通过结构化的对话来加速人际关系的亲密感。

Aron的实验基于一个重要的心理学概念：自我披露（self-disclosure）。在亲密关系中，人们通常会逐渐进行相互的自我披露，这种渐进式的相互开放被认为是促进关系亲近的关键因素。Aron设计的36个问题正是为了加速这一过程。

这些问题被精心设计成三个阶段：

• 第一阶段：涉及一些简单、表面化的个人信息，如“你上一次唱歌给自己听是什么时候？”
• 第二阶段：开始触及更深层次的个人经历和感受，如“你最感激父母的是什么？”
• 第三阶段：涉及最深层的个人价值观和生活体验，如“分享一个你觉得自己很美的时刻。”

通过这种逐步深入的对话，参与者能够在短时间内体验到通常需要长时间交往才能达到的亲密感。

虽然这36个问题被设计用于实验环境，但它们完全可以应用在日常生活中。以下是一些建议：

1. 选择合适的对象：这个实验最适合用于想要增进了解的两个人，可以是情侣、朋友或家人。

2. 创造安全的环境：确保在一个私密、舒适的环境中进行，避免任何可能的干扰。

3. 遵循问题顺序：按照设计的顺序进行，不要跳过任何问题。每个问题都是为了引出下一个更深层次的对话。

4. 保持真诚和开放：回答问题时尽量真实，不要担心暴露自己的“缺点”。真正的亲密来自于接纳彼此的真实。

5. 注意边界：如果某个问题触及了你的敏感点，可以选择不回答，或者稍作调整。

虽然这个实验在Aron的研究中取得了显著效果，但我们也需要理性看待：

1. 这不是爱情的捷径：Aron本人也强调，这些问题并不能保证让人坠入爱河。真正的爱情需要时间、了解和共同经历。

2. 效果因人而异：每个人对亲密感的接受度不同，有些人可能觉得这些问题过于私人，需要根据实际情况调整。

3. 不要过度依赖：真正的亲密关系需要在日常生活中持续培养，而不是仅仅依靠一次性的对话。

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling ..."
26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share ..."
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

这个实验之所以在《生活大爆炸》中被提及，是因为它确实能在短时间内帮助人们建立深层次的连接。但正如Aron所说，这并不是爱情的捷径，而是帮助我们更好地了解和接纳彼此的一种方式。真正的亲密关系需要在日常生活中持续培养，而不是仅仅依靠一次性的对话。